Conscious Living: Falling in Love with Ourselves Again


One of the coldest winters on record had many of us hibernating like bears over the past few months, staying in our caves in order to avoid the elements. In this state, we might have  become fairly unconscious spiritually, choosing to numb out by being a couch potato. A mild depression could have even set in since we could not easily get out for that walk to take in the sunlight and generate that essential vitamin D. For those who live alone, too much hibernation can lead to isolation. We can start to shut down through inactivity, and spend too much time ruminating on thoughts that don’t serve us well.

Now it’s time to cancel, clear,  and delete this sedentary program! As I write this column, we have turned the corner into spring and I have never seen so many smiling faces in my neighbourhood. There is much to celebrate about the rebirth that springtime brings. Songs like ‘April in Paris’ and the lyrics ‘I love Paris in the springtime’ are the ear worms that run through my mind. The energy of spring allows a rebirth of ourselves, a time for taking on new creative endeavours and for revisiting our vision and intentions.

We want to fall in love in the spring; and yes there is science that will back this statement as true. Every-thing comes alive again with the advent of spring – birds are singing, flowers are blooming, the bees are buzzing; so many new colours and smells to awaken all the senses. According to science reporter Sanden Totton, “There is a lot of new stimuli that triggers the brain to drive up dopamine and make you more susceptible to love. Every April, your brain unwittingly becomes a dopamine factory, turning you into a love junkie. In fact, brain scans of people flooded with the stuff look a lot like brain scans of drug addicts. This makes sense, since being high on dopamine feels, as lovers would put it, euphoric.”

Practice the Art of Self-Love

Rather than focusing on romantic love, let us use the natural euphoria of spring to wake up and fall passionately in love with ourselves again. We all know that  when we love ourselves we become more appealing to others as well. Our light shines brighter, we feel better, and our lives become more satisfying. We attract  from outside of us what we are in the inside. Self-love is a wonderful aphrodisiac that attracts more love, joy, abundance, and prosperity.  In short, self-love makes us more lovable to other people. Let’s look at some ways we can practice the art of self-love through inner work. Here are some simple things you can do this month to start the process:

1. Loving yourself means accepting yourself as you are right now, and loving both your strengths and limitations. It’s okay to be imperfect, in fact it’s perfectly normal. Make a list of all the qualities you love about yourself; send love to those parts you see as imperfect.

2. Love yourself as a loving friend or partner does.  Be kind, gentle, and compassionate with yourself. Practice patience when you make mistakes.

3. Be sure to check the inner critic that makes negative statements about you.  Counter them with positive and loving thoughts.

4. Observe your stream of consciousness and check yourself when you are at a lower vibration. Hold intentions that are positive and life enhancing.

5. Sometimes an incident can trigger old shaming memories. In the moment when you feel that shame, send love to your inner child for healing.

6. Congratulate yourself on all that is wonderful about you. Practice self-praise on a daily basis, without becoming egocentric.

7. Forgive yourself, and others, for past events. This act of self-love will help you drop that heavy burden.

8. Do mirror work with affirmations. When you face yourself this way, don’t go to criticism (oh – I have to lose weight!). Instead, look into your own eyes and love the essence that shines through, affirming that God or the Divine is within you.

9. Mirror work will also make you immediately aware of any resistance or faulty beliefs, which can then be turned around and transformed.

10. Nurture your body with healthy foods and physical movement. Have chocolate! Nurture your spirit with meditation.

11.  Comfort yourself: get a massage, a spa day, buy flowers. You deserve pleasure in your life.

12. Buy some new spring clothes, get your hair done.  We always feel fantastic when we look good.

13. Associate with positive people – you will uplift each other’s spirits.

14. Eliminate time spent with negative people, or those who drain you with constant complaining.

15. Hug someone, including yourself and your pets. Intimate touch releases the ‘feel good’ hormone, oxytocin.

16. Reach out for support when you need it. You don’t have to go it alone.

17. Choose joy! It is usually the small things in life that bring us joy. Intend to make joy a daily practice.

18. Get in touch with nature through peaceful walks, or by cultivating a garden. Let the Divine in nature reflect back to you your own Divinity.

When we fall in love with ourselves we truly meet our Beloved. This is not someone who exists outside of us; our Beloved is truly a beautiful archetypal part of ourselves.  As the law of attraction goes, when we allow self-love to grow within, we open ourselves up to connecting with equally loving people in our lives.

Gord Riddell and Kathy Ryndak are therapists and co-founders of the Transformational Arts College of Spiritual and Holistic Training. The College offers professional training programs in Spiritual Psychotherapy, Spiritual Director, Holistic Health, Coaching, and Psychospiritual courses through a 10 part program: ‘Discovering the Total Self. For more information on these programs, call the College at (416) 484-0454, toll free 1-800-TAC-SELF, or: To receive the monthly e-newsletter, email marketing@

“This being human is a guest house. Every morning is a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor… Welcome and entertain them all. Treat each guest honorably. The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in. Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.” ~ Rumi

Gord Riddell and Kathy Ryndak are co-founders of the Transformational Arts College of Spiritual and Holistic Training. The College offers professional training programs in Spiritual Psychotherapy, Spiritual Director, Holistic Health, and Coaching. For more information or for a course calendar, call 416-484-0454 or 1-800-TAC-SELF, or visit To receive their monthly e-newsletter, email

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