The Transformational Power of DeathKathy Ryndak September 1, 2014
My mother, Helen, passed away a couple of months ago at the age of 89, after suffering immensely from congestive heart failure. Her passing continues to profoundly move my soul, teaching me about the healing and transformation that can come from death. I am dedicating this column to her as a tribute. I also want to help others address the uncomfortable topic of death and provide some healing insights.
Even though we were prepared for her transition, I was devastated on the morning the phone call came from my sister telling me that mom had died. Usually, the first thing I do is to send light and love to someone who passes so that they can cross-over with ease and grace. But I was too emotional to do this, so I just kept repeating the mantra, “Momma, I love you.” And that, instead, became my prayer.
And so, every day for the past three months, I was able to tell my mother I love her a few times a day, and she would do the same. This made me very happy, and I was relieved that she had finally been released from her suffering form and would be able to be close to God, her beloved Angels, and loved ones on the other side. Before my mother passed, I had guided her on how to move into the white light with the Angels, and I reminded her that my father, sister, her dog, and deceased relatives would all greet her on the other side. This seemed to give her some peace, although she feared the unknown of death.
Over the next few days, I moved into complete unconditional love for my mother as a result of the healing power of death. I was thankful that I did not have much unfinished business with her. Death can help us to transform any wounds through forgiveness, and then only love is present.
We did an inspiring Celebration of Life ceremony instead of a funeral. I just could not go into the sad energy of a funeral parlour for my mother. We did the ceremony at the Gathering Place at Trinity LTC in Kitchener, which is so full of light and joy. We used inspirational prayers such as ‘Footprints” that are meaningful, as well as prayers honouring her Christian, Catholic upbringing. We shared our memories of our mother, what she taught us in life, and our experience of her death. Instead of having others come to speak at the podium, which most dread, I opened the sharing to the floor. My relatives told some humorous stories and talked about my mother’s wonderful qualities, so that the gathering became uplifting instead of sad. I loved it when one of my cousins commended my mother for being an animal lover.
She, in fact, was also instrumental in our creation of the Transformational Arts College because much grist for the mill that began my journey of transformation and soul growth was generated from my family. We all need to address our family-of-origin issues in order to heal our emotional patterns and issues. I played the role of caretaker in my family, and played the role again, together with my sister, as my mother became elderly and sick. Some patterns come full circle in our transformation.
Although I deeply miss and grieve my mother’s physical presence, we always remain connected to our loved ones through our heart, and through our soul, which is eternal. A quote from an American greeting card I received states: “There is love that will live forever, and there are memories that will shine through the sorrow.”
On a spiritual level, we are never not connected. Our loved ones do care for us on the other side, watch over us, and guide us. They communicate with us through dreams, symbols, signs and visions. Sometimes, they will show themselves to us in our dreams, appearing as vibrant and healthy at around the age of thirty.
My mother’s first soul communication with me occurred ten days before she died. I literally woke up to her physical, croaky, apprehensive voice and she said, “Kathy, I am going to die.” I didn’t know if I should jump in my car and go to Kitchener, but then I realized that many souls come to us a few days before they pass. Two weeks after her death she came to me in a dream at 4:50 am. She handed her purse to me in a gesture that said, “I know you will look after the Will.” There were also four beeps which then stopped – symbolic of her heart at the time of her passing.
Another morning, I woke up very anxious, and suddenly a negative memory about my mother’s dementia came so vividly to surface. I was feeling the angst of the situation, tuned in, and I knew my mother was processing this on the other side. When we transition to the other side, we do a whole life review and move though a deep healing process in the love and light of God. In another dream, she showed me ancient sacred seals as if they were tattooed on her body, symbolic of the healing she was going through.
For those who seek confirmation, I do recommend going to a skilled medium to communicate with deceased loved ones, as they will relay many truths to facilitate our forgiveness and healing of grief. This can help us obtain substantial proof that they live on eternally. (Editor’s note: See ‘Psychic /Mediums/Channels’ section on page 110 for some excellent resources). We can also cultivate our own ability to communicate with loved ones through our spiritual, intuitive self – for they are just a thought away.
It is a given that we all grieve in our own unique way. And we can expand our perspective of death beyond grieving and look at it as a mutually transformational, healing, and spiritual experience for us, and for the deceased. I will end with another quote from a card: “There are some things that never, ever leave us – A mother’s love is one of them.” And again, my mantra, “I love you Momma…forever.”
Kathy Ryndak is co-founder of the Transformational Arts College of Spiritual and Holistic Training. The College offers professional training programs in Spiritual Psychotherapy, Spiritual Director, Holistic Health, Coaching and Esoteric Studies. It offers psychospiritual courses through a 10-part program, “Discovering the Total Self”. For a calendar, call the College at 416-484-0454 or 1-800-TAC-SELF, or visit www.transformationalarts.com. To receive their monthly e-newsletters, email email@example.com Readers can follow Kathy on facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/kathy.ryndak.