Behold the Beloved

Kathy Ryndak, Gord Riddell

There is a wondrous rapture that I feel,
A bliss and ecstasy that has become so real.
So much electricity, I can hardly contain,
Who is this person? Please tell me your name.
It is me said the small voice from within,
It is your True Self, who lives right under your skin.
I have never been attracted so much to another,
Have I indeed become my own Sacred Lover?
So much energy, such an attraction,
I have fallen in love with myself without distraction.
I have come home to myself, so fully engaged.
With wonderment and curiosity I reignited my flame.
So much ecstasy and passion, I am Divine.
A perfect partner I’ll make for the rest of time.
I trust you, I am safe, you will never leave me.
I have met my Beloved, forever shall it be.

– Poem by Kathy Ryndak

This indeed was my experience when I (Kathy) first met my Beloved in a voice dialoguing session over a year ago. I was doing some work with the Lover archetype and it mystically transformed into the Sacred Beloved in the most mysterious and mesmerizing way. This was a moment that has forever indelibly been imprinted on my psyche. The Lover is the part of us that engages in romantic relationships and is linked to the Goddess Aphrodite in respect to sensuality, sexuality, and beauty. She dreams of finding the ideal soul mate; sometimes falling into the fantasy that all would be well if only the perfect soul mate would come along. All of her needs would be met and she would be forever loved by a partner who understood everything about her and accepted her totally. Rarely, does a ‘perfect’ soul mate exist for any of us.


When I met my Beloved I was in an altered state of consciousness reveling in the feelings, images, and metaphors that came to me. I had a rush and flow of electricity and magnetism throughout every cell in my body. Every chakra in my body was vibrating at such a delicious frequency. It was like the biochemical high of falling in love for the first time…having so much chemistry for your partner that one’s heart feels like it will overflow…and all the goose bumps to go with it as well.

I could have sworn there was a very attractive lover beside me but it was just me and my psyche and the therapist who witnessed my experience in the room. It was lovely to be ensconced in this warm, healing energy. It felt incredibly radiant and vibrant, and I laughed “who needs a lover when you can feel this good all by yourself.” This indeed was a great moment of ecstatic bliss and happiness.


The sensate experience of the Beloved is like being attracted to ourselves along with all the electricity and chemistry. It is very tantric. In this sense, we become very magnetic and charismatic. We fall in love with ourselves including all of our innate beauty, shadow, and flaws. We know how to get our needs met whether by ourselves, or through others, so neediness is transformed. We love our own company. We are fully engaged in life with the intensity of a child at play. Life once again becomes enchanting, full of awe, and wonderment. Our natural curiosity returns, and we are amazed of the magic in the universe. Our Magical Child is definitely a part of the Beloved.


Sometimes, we meet our Beloved if we have been betrayed by another, disappointed in love, or have ended a relationship acrimoniously. Or we’re in a marriage that has lost its punch, yet we are unwilling to leave it as that would be foolish. We could be tempted to have an affair, but that would only mess things up, and destroy the bond of trust that has built over years. We are yearning for something, and we know it is not for another lover to come into our lives. Intuitively, we know that this connection resides within. If non-attached, we no longer pine for the ideal soul mate but would welcome one if they come along.


It is through much inner work that the Beloved becomes available to us. The Beloved takes us into a higher octave of love. First we learn to love ourselves unconditionally and without judgment. We also come to love God, or the Divine, with the great passion that the mystical saints talk about. We like to see beauty in everything around us, even the most simple of things. We enjoy taking our dog for a walk seeing the Godliness in flowers, or in the smile of a neighbour. It is just natural for us to smile at strangers on the street, silently wishing them well. We are committed to striving for harmony in our relationships even though that can mean facing conflict straight-on and working it through.


We know how to replenish our souls if we feel we’re moving towards empty. The easiest way to do this is to sit in a meditative state for about 10 minutes reconnecting to our Beloved and our True Self. Just let yourself fill up with all the good energy from your Source, and the positive life force of the universe. Once you have had the experience of meeting your Beloved, you can conjure it up at anytime. You come to realize that you do not need a partner to have a tantric experience by yourself.

Beingness is an important state to learn from the Beloved. In the Western world, it is much easier to ‘do’ than to just ‘be.’ The Beloved takes us into the unlimited vastness of our own great nature interweaving it together with the highest quality of love. We can sit in our own Beingness, feel fulfilled, and have a great sense of inner peace. We experience that ‘all is well’ feeling.

This article will be continued two issues from now in Vitality.

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